P.J. O'Rourke

The political humorist shares his transformation from dirty hippie to conservative middle-aged grouch: “An incorrigible comic gift” (The New York Times Book Review). The #1 New York Times–bestselling author of Give War a Chance was at one time a raving pinko, with scars on his formerly bleeding heart to prove it. In Age and Guile: Beat Youth, Innocence, and a Bad Haircut, P. J. O’Rourke chronicles the remarkable trajectory that took him from the lighthearted fun of the revolutionary barricades to the serious business of the nineteenth hole. How did the O’Rourke of 1970, who summarized the world of “grown-ups” as “materialism, sexual hang-ups, the Republican party, uncomfortable clothes, engagement rings, car accidents, Pat Boone, competition, patriotism, cheating, lying, ranch houses, and TV” come to be in favor of all of those things? What caused his metamorphosis from a beatnik-hippie type comfortable sleeping on dirty mattresses in pot-addled communes during his days as a writer for assorted “underground” papers? Here, O’Rourke shows how his socialist idealism and avant-garde aesthetic tendencies were cured, and how he acquired a healthy and commendable interest in national defense, balanced budgets, Porsches, and Cohiba cigars. From a former editor-in-chief of National Lampoon and frequent NPR guest, this hilarious essay collection shows that there’s hope for all those suffering from acute bohemianism.

The #1 New York Times–bestselling author takes an “unfailingly funny” look at global problems and offers his own political perspective (The Washington Times). In this volume, the political humorist and former National Lampoon editor-in-chief attacks fashionable worries—all those terrible problems that are constantly on our minds and in the news, but about which most of us have no real clue—and crisscrosses the globe in search of solutions to today’s most vexing issues, including overpopulation, famine, plague, and multiculturalism. In the process, he produces a hilarious and informative book which ensures that the concept of political correctness will never be the same again. “One of the funniest, most insightful, dead-on-the-money books of the year.” —Los Angeles Times “O’Rourke’s best work since Parliament of Whores.” —The Houston Post “Bottom line: Buy the book.” —The Wall Street Journal

"The free market is a bathroom scale. We may not like what we see when we step on the bathroom scale, but we can't pass a law making ourselves weigh 165. Liberals and leftists think we can.""Given the complete dominance of politics by Committee Brain, the wonder is that anything gets done, and the horror is that it does. What government accomplishes is what you'd expect from a committee. `A camel is a seeing-eye dog designed by a committee and available free with government grants to the halt and the lame.""The most sensible request we make of government is not `Do Something!' but `Quit it!'""We have the cow of economic freedom. Do we take the cow to market and trade her for the magic beans of bailout and stimulus? When we climb that beanstalk we're going to find a giant government at the top. Are we going to be as lucky as Jack the giant killer was? I'm not sure Jack himself was that lucky with his giant killing. My guess is that Jack spent years being investigated by giant subcommittees and now Jack's paying a giant tax on his beanstalk bonus.""I caught my six-year-old, Buster, playing `health care provider' with one of the little girls in his first-grade class. They were filling out toy forms fully clothed.""We baby boomers are a pathetic bunch. And it didn't start with the Beatles, marijuana, and the pill. Recall the coonskin cap. I wore mine to school. Children of previous eras may have worn coonskin caps, but they had to eat the raccoons first.""I believe in original sin, and politics may be its name."---P.J. O'RourkeRed State. Blue State. Republicans. Democrats. Bailout. Stimulus. Health Care Reform. Blah blah blah. Has there ever been a moment where politics have sucked any more?Don't Vote-It Just Encourages the Bastards is a brilliant, disturbing, hilarious, and ultimately sobering look at why politics and politicians are a necessary evil-but only just barely necessary. P.J. presents his Sex, Death, and Boredom Theory of Politics, which breaks the social contract down to power, freedom, and responsibility by using a party game, kill, F@#k, Marry, more typically found in late-night giggle sessions at all-girls boarding schools.With this tripartite lens of politics, O'Rourke looks at the financial crisis ("The best investment I've made lately? I left a $20 bill in the pocket of my tweed jacket last spring, and I just found it"), the bailout, health care reform ("Something doesn't add up. Politicians are telling me that I can smoke, drink, gain two hundred pounds, then win an iron man triathlon at age ninety-five"), the stimulus package, climate change ("There's not a goddamn thing you can do about it...There are 1.3 billion people in China and they all want a Buick"), trade imbalance. the end of the American automobile industry, U.S. foreign policy and the Family of Nations ("Uncle Russia's out on parole, drunk, unemployed, and likely to kill some folks next door again soon"), campaign finance reform, gun control, No Child Left Behind ("What if they deserve to be left behind?"), and pretty much everything else under the sun.His findings: Put the country's big, fat political ass on a diet. Lose that drooping deficit. Slim those spreading entitlement programs. Firm up that flabby pair of butt cheeks, which are the Senate and the House.Read P.J. O'Rourke on the pathetic nature of politics and laugh through your tears or-what the hell-just laugh.

In the tradition of his contemporary classic Parliament of Whores, the man who The Wall Street Journal calls "the funniest writer in America" is back with Eat the Rich, in which he takes on the global economy. P. J. O'Rourke leads you on an hysterical whirlwind world tour from the "good capitalism" of Wall Street to the "bad socialism" of Cuba in search of the answer to an age-old question: "Why do some places prosper and thrive, while others just suck?" With stops in Albania, Sweden, Hong Kong, Moscow, and Tanzania, P.J. brings along his incomparable wit and finds hilarity wherever he goes. ### Amazon.com Review A conservative, prosperous, American journalist gadding around the world laughing at all the ways less successful nations screw up their economy--this might not sound like the recipe for a great read, unless you're Rush Limbaugh, but if that journalist is P.J. O'Rourke you can be sure that you'll enjoy the ride even if you don't agree with the politics. Although *Eat the Rich* is subtitled *A Treatise on Economics* , O'Rourke spends relatively few pages tackling the complexities of monetary theory. He's much happier when flying from Sweden to Hong Kong to Tanzania to Moscow, gleefully recording every economic goof he can find. When he visits post-Communist Russia and finds a country that is as messed up by capitalism as it was by Communism, O'Rourke mixes jokes about black-market shoes with disturbing insights into a nation on the verge of collapse. P.J. O'Rourke is more than a humorist, he's an experienced international journalist with a lot of frequent-flyer miles, and this gives even his funniest riffs on the world's problems the ring of truth. ### From Publishers Weekly Having chewed up and spat out the politically correct (All the Troubles in the World) and the U.S. government (Parliament of Whores), O'Rourke takes a more global tack. Here, he combines something of Michael Palin's Pole to Pole, a soupcon of Swift's A Modest Proposal and Keynsian garnish in an effort to find out why some places are "prosperous and thriving while others just suck." Stymied by the "puerile and impenetrable" prose of condescending college texts, O'Rourke set forth on a two-year worldwide tour of economic practice (or mal-). He begins amid the "moil and tumult" of Wall Street ("Good Capitalism") before turning to dirt-poor Albania, where, in an example of "Bad Capitalism," free market is the freedom to gamble stupidly. "Good Socialism" (Sweden) and "Bad Socialism" (Cuba) are followed by O'Rourke's always perverse but often perversely accurate take on Econ 101 ("microeconomics is about money you don't have, and macroeconomics is about money the government is out of"). Four subsequent chapters reportedly offer case studies of economic principles, except that Russia, Tanzania, Hong Kong and Shanghai all seem to prove that economic theory is just that. There's lots of trademark O'Rourke humor ("you can puke on the train," he says of a trip through Russia, "you can cook tripe on alcohol stoves and make reeking picnics of smoked fish and goat cheese, but you can't smoke"). There's also the feeling that despite (or maybe because of) his lack of credentials, he's often right. O'Rourke proves that money can be funny without being counterfeit. 150,000 first printing; $150,000 ad/promo; 26-city author tour. (Sept.) FYI: Also available as a Random House audio, $18 Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

The #1 New York Times bestseller from “one of America’s most hilarious and provocative writers . . . a volatile brew of one-liners and vitriol” (Time). Renowned for his cranky conservative humor, P. J. O’Rourke runs hilariously amok in this book, tackling the death of communism; his frustration with sanctimonious liberals; and Saddam Hussein in a series of classic dispatches from his coverage of the 1991 Gulf War. On Kuwait City after the war, he comments, “It looked like all the worst rock bands in the world had stayed there at the same time.” On Saddam Hussein, O’Rourke muses: “He’s got chemical weapons filled with . . . with . . . chemicals. Maybe he’s got The Bomb. And missiles that can reach Riyadh, Tel Aviv, Spokane. Stock up on nonperishable foodstuffs. Grab those Diet Coke cans you were supposed to take to the recycling center and fill them with home heating oil. Bury the Hummel figurines in the yard. We’re all going to die. Details at eleven.” And on the plague of celebrity culture, he notes: “You can’t shame or humiliate modern celebrities. What used to be called shame and humiliation is now called publicity.” Mordant and utterly irreverent, this is a modern classic from one of our great political satirists, described by Christopher Buckley as being “like S. J. Perelman on acid.” “Mocking on the surface but serious beneath . . . When it comes to scouting the world for world-class absurdities, O’Rourke is the right man for the job.” —Los Angeles Times Book Review “The funniest writer in America.” —The Wall Street Journal

Holidays in Heck takes the reader on a globe-trotting journey to far-reaching places including China, Kyrgyzstan, Afghanistan and the Galapagos Islands. The collection begins after the Iraq War, when P.J. retired from being a war correspondent because he was "too old to keep being scared stiff and too stiff to keep sleeping on the ground. " Instead he embarked on supposedly more comfortable and allegedly less dangerous travels - often with family in tow - which mostly left him wishing he were under artillery fire again. The result is a hilarious and oftentimes moving portrait of life in the fast lane - only this time as a husband and father of three. Adventures include: - The first stag hunt in Britain after hunting had been banned. If the British had been half as caring about Indians and American colonists as they are about animals, they'd still rule the world. - A month-long tour of mainland China's economic hubs where P.J. learned that the entire Chinese concept of political freedom and individual liberty can be summed up in the words, 'New Buick'. - A harrowing horseback ride across the mountains of Kyrgyzstan - no towns, no roads, no people. "If something happened to my horse it would be shot. For me, the medical treatment wouldn't be that sophisticated. "

Now available from Grove Press, P. J. O'Rourke's classic, best-selling guided tour of the world's most desolate, dangerous, and desperate places. "Tired of making bad jokes" and believing that "the world outside seemed a much worse joke than anything I could conjure," P. J. O'Rourke traversed the globe on a fun-finding mission, investigating the way of life in the most desperate places on the planet, including Warsaw, Managua, and Belfast. The result is Holidays in Hell--a full-tilt, no-holds-barred romp through politics, culture, and ideology. P.J.'s adventures include storming student protesters' barricades with riot police in South Korea, interviewing Communist insurrectionists in the Philippines, and going undercover dressed in Arab garb in the Gaza Strip. He also takes a look at America's homegrown horrors as he braves the media frenzy surrounding the Reagan-Gorbachev summit in Washington D.C., uncovers the mortifying banality behind the white-bread kitsch of Jerry Falwell's Heritage USA, and survives the stultifying boredom of Harvard's 350th anniversary celebration. Packed with P.J.'s classic riffs on everything from Polish nightlife under communism to Third World driving tips, Holidays in Hell is one of the best-loved books by one of today's most celebrated humorists.

In *On The Wealth of Nations* , America’s most provocative satirist, P. J. O’Rourke, reads Adam Smith’s revolutionary *The Wealth of Nations* so you don’t have to. Recognized almost instantly on its publication in 1776 as the fundamental work of economics, *The Wealth of Nations* was also recognized as really long: the original edition totaled over nine hundred pages in two volumes—including the blockbuster sixty-seven-page “digression concerning the variations in the value of silver during the course of the last four centuries,” which, “to those uninterested in the historiography of currency supply, is like reading Modern Maturity in Urdu.” Although daunting, Smith’s tome is still essential to understanding such current hot-topics as outsourcing, trade imbalances, and Angelina Jolie. In this hilarious, approachable, and insightful examination of Smith and his groundbreaking work, P. J. puts his trademark wit to good use, and shows us why Smith is still relevant, why what seems obvious now was once revolutionary, and why the pursuit of self-interest is so important. In *On The Wealth of Nations* , America’s most provocative satirist, P. J. O’Rourke, reads Adam Smith’s revolutionary *The Wealth of Nations* so you don’t have to. Recognized almost instantly on its publication in 1776 as the fundamental work of economics, *The Wealth of Nations* was also recognized as really long: the original edition totaled over nine hundred pages in two volumes—including the blockbuster sixty-seven-page “digression concerning the variations in the value of silver during the course of the last four centuries,” which, “to those uninterested in the historiography of currency supply, is like reading Modern Maturity in Urdu.” Although daunting, Smith’s tome is still essential to understanding such current hot-topics as outsourcing, trade imbalances, and Angelina Jolie. In this hilarious, approachable, and insightful examination of Smith and his groundbreaking work, P. J. puts his trademark wit to good use, and shows us why Smith is still relevant, why what seems obvious now was once revolutionary, and why the pursuit of self-interest is so important. ### Review "Later economists, such as, in the early nineteenth century, J. B. Say, felt that Smith undervalued the economic contributions of services. And he did. The eighteenth century had servants, not a service economy. It was hard for a man of that era to believe that the semi-inebriated footman and the blowzy scullery maid would evolve into, well, the stoned pizza delivery boy and the girl behind the checkout counter with an earring in her tongue." "Some jobs require protection, to ensure they are performed locally in their own communities. My job is to make quips, jests, and waggish comments. Somewhere in Mumbai there is a younger, funnier person who is willing to work for less. My job could be outsourced to him. But he could make any joke he wanted. Who would my wife scold? Who would my in-laws be offended by? Who would my friends shun?" "Unfortunately, Adam Smith didn't have graphs. Hundreds of pages of The Wealth of Nations that readers skim might have been condensed into several pages that readers skip entirely. Another thing Smith didn't have, besides graphs, was jargon. Economics was too new to have developed its thieves' cant. When Adam Smith was being incomprehensible he didn't have the luxury of brief, snappy technical terms as a shorthand for incoherence. He had to go on talking through his hat until the subject was (and the reader would be) exhausted."

Called "an everyman's guide to Washington" (The New York Times), P. J. O'Rourke's savagely funny and national best-seller Parliament of Whores has become a classic in understanding the workings of the American political system. Originally written at the end of the Reagan era, this new edition includes an extensive foreword by the renowned political writer Andrew Ferguson -- showing us that although the names and the players have changed, the game is still the same. Parliament of Whores is an exuberant, broken-field run through the ethical foibles, pork-barrel flimflam, and bureaucratic bullrorfle inside the Beltway that leaves no sacred cow unskewered and no politically correct sensitivities unscorched. "Highly pungent and wickedly accurate observations ... [from a] boisterous, pedal-to-the-floor humorist." -- The New York Times Book Review "Outrageous ... It is insulting, inflammatory, profane, and absolutely great reading." -- The Washington Post Book World "A gonzo civics book ... O'Rourke is like a trophy hunter let loose in an unguarded zoo." -- Chicago Tribune

The #1 New York Times-bestselling author who “never fails to find the absurd” addresses everything from airport security to the Iraq War (The New York Times Book Review). To unravel the mysteries of war, P.J. O’Rourke first visits Kosovo. (“Wherever there's injustice, oppression, and suffering, America will show up six months later and bomb the country next to where it's happening.”) He travels to Israel at the outbreak of the intifada. He flies to Egypt in the wake of the 9/11 terrorists' attacks. and contemplates bygone lunacies. (“Why are the people in the Middle East so crazy? Here, at the pyramids, was an answer from the earliest days of civilization: People have always been crazy.”) He covers the demonstrations and the denunciations of war. Finally he arrives in Baghdad with the U.S. Army, and enters one of Saddam's palaces. (“If a reason for invading Iraq was needed, felony interior decorating would have sufficed.”) With this collection, P.J. O’Rourke once again demonstrates that he is “an acerbic master of gonzo journalism and one of America’s most hilarious and provocative writers” (Time).

Writings from the old-school Republican and New York Times–bestselling author of How the Hell Did This Happen?: “Hilarious” (Christopher Buckley, author of Thank You for Smoking). In this collection of pieces, the outrageous political satirist renowned for such classics as Parliament of Whores takes on a wide range of cultural and political issues, and explains the platform of the Republican Party Reptile: “I think our agenda is clear. We are opposed to: government spending, Kennedy kids, seat-belt laws . . . busing our children anywhere other than Yale, trailer courts near our vacation homes . . . all tiny Third World countries that don’t have banking secrecy laws, aerobics, the UN, taxation without tax loopholes, and jewelry on men. We are in favor of: guns, drugs, fast cars, free love (if our wives don’t find out), a sound dollar . . . and a strong military with spiffy uniforms. There are thousands of people in America who feel this way, especially after three or four drinks. If all of us would unite and work together, we could give this country . . . well, a real bad hangover.” “To say that P. J. O’Rourke is funny is like saying the Rocky Mountains are scenic—accurate but insufficient. At his best he’s downright exhilarating . . . Republican Party Reptile is as rambunctiously entertaining as a greased pig catching contest. If you can find a funnier writer than P. J. O’Rourke, buy him a brandy, but don’t lend him the keys to your pickup.” —Chicago Tribune

Whatever happened to good old-fashioned red-baiting? The #1 New York Times–bestselling humorist rails against the silly people in our midst . . . In the midst of the Clinton years, political satirist P. J. O’Rourke, in conjunction with the conservative magazine The American Spectator, launched into a gleeful project: carrying on the grand tradition of McCarthyism by compiling a New Enemies List. Their goal: to reveal the utter silliness of politicians, celebrities, and “everyone to the left of Edmund Burke” (Booklist). From Noam Chomsky to Yoko Ono to all the people who think quartz crystals cure herpes, this list is the result—and the book also include O’Rourke’s treatises on why Jimmy Carter was a better president than Bill Clinton, and why the author of Parliament of Whores and Give War a Chance is a conservative in the first place.

<p>P. J. O'Rourke has had a prolific career as one of America's most celebrated humorists. But that career almost didn't happen. As he explains it, "I began to write for pay in the spring of 1970. To tell the truth I didn't even want to be a writer, I meant to be a race car driver, but I didn't have a race car." </p> <p>Fortunately for us, he had to settle for writing. From his early pieces for the <em>National Lampoon</em> , through his classic reporting as <em>Rolling Stone</em> 's International Affairs editor in the '80s and '90s, and his brilliant inimitable political journalism and analysis, P.J. has been entertaining and provoking readers with high-octane prose, a "pants-down Republican" attitude, and a rare ability to make readers laugh out loud. Chris Buckley once described his work as "S. J. Perelman on acid," and when Penguin published its <em>Dictionary of Modern Humorous Quotations</em> , P.J. had more entries than any other living writer. For the first time, <em>Thrown Under the Omnibus</em> brings together his funniest, most outrageous, most controversial, and most loved pieces in the definitive P.J. reader. Selected and introduced by the humorist himself, <em>Thrown Under the Omnibus</em> is the essential P. J. O'Rourke anthology—a must-have for any fan.</p><h3>Review</h3> <p><strong>Praise for</strong> Thrown Under the Omnibus <strong>:</strong> </p> <p>“The world is short on laughs these days . . . Excellent timing, then, for the release of a thick collection of humorist P.J. O’Rourke’s work, culled from his 16 books by the author himself . . . Mr. O’Rourke has had a full and illustrious career, including stints at <em>National Lampoon</em> , <em>Car and Driver</em> and <em>Rolling Stone</em>. He occupies a rare place among the laughing class: He has somehow avoided the orifice obsession that captivates many of its members; he identifies as Republican; and he is no mere thumb-sucker, having visited more than 40 countries to report on wars, regime changes, economic revolutions and the experience of drinking cocktails garnished with the poison sacs of cobras.” <strong>—</strong> Wall Street Journal </p> <p>“Outspoken conservatives have long been a minority in comedy, particularly in the mainstream media, which provided an opportunity for P.J. O’Rourke, who for decades cornered the market for prominent right-wing humorists . . . If his wry essays have a mission statement . . . it’s this: Starchy Republicanism is really, really fun.” <strong>—</strong> New York Times Book Review </p> <p>“[P.J. O’Rourke] was really the first to inject-non-liberal hilarity into political discourse . . . But more important, he was able to yank conservatives out of the hands of the humorless and shrill, and make such writing accessible . . . He changed my life . . . If you don’t know him—you have your chance. Buy his new omnibus—an anthology of more good writing than you’d find in ten years of reading Proust.” <strong>—Greg Gutfeld</strong> </p> <p>“The only member of Woodstock Nation smart enough to brand himself as a conservative . . . O’Rourke’s career omnibus is best enjoyed from the depths of a button back chair with a glass of something golden at your side. Since the book is impossible to lift, the chair should be a stout one.” <strong>—</strong> Independent <strong>(UK)</strong> </p> <p><strong>Praise for P.J. O'Rourke:</strong> </p> <p>"Whether you agree with him or not, P.J. writes a helluva piece." <strong>—Richard Nixon</strong> </p> <p>"P.J. O’Rourke is like S.J. Perelman on acid." <strong>—Chris Buckley</strong> </p> <p>"The funniest writer in America." <strong>—</strong> Wall Street Journal </p> <h3>About the Author</h3> <p><strong>P. J. O'Rourke</strong> has written sixteen books on subjects as diverse as politics and cars and etiquette and economics. His book about Washington, <em>Parliament of Whores</em> , and his book about international conflict and crisis, <em>Give War a Chance</em> , both reached #1 on the <em>New York Times</em> bestseller list. He is a contributing editor at the <em>Weekly Standard</em> , H. L. Mencken fellow at the Cato Institute, a regular panelist on NPR's <em>Wait Wait . . . Don't Tell Me</em> , and a columnist for the Daily Beast. He lives in rural New England, as far away from the things he writes about as he can get.</p> <p>P.J. O'Rourke has had a prolific career as one of America's most celebrated humorists. But that career almost didn't happen. As he tells it, &#147;I began to write for pay in the spring of 1970. To tell the truth I didn't even mean to be a writer, I meant to be a race car driver, but I didn't have a race car."<br>Fortunately for us, he had to settle for writing. From his early pieces for the <I>National Lampoon</I>, through his classic reporting as <I>Rolling Stone's</I> International Affairs editor in the 80s and 90s, and his brilliant, inimitable political journalism and analysis, P.J. has been entertaining and provoking readers with high octane prose, a gonzo Republican attitude and a rare ability to make you laugh out loud. Chris Buckley once described his work as &#147;S.J. Perlman on acid" and when Penguin first published its <I>Dictionary of Modern Humorist Quotations</I> PJ had more entries than any living writer.<br>For the first time <I>Thrown Under the Omnibus</I>...